I share the intense physical and spiritual struggle I underwent in 2020 to discover my true identity, which culminated in a journey to Mount Kilimanjaro to consult with elders
My Relentless Pursuit of Truth
I teach with a sense of urgency and "anger" because I paid a high price to understand who I am, and I don’t want my students to waste time as I did. In 2020, I traveled to Kilimanjaro 14 times—twice every single month to climb the mountain and speak with the elders of old. My goal was to find my identity, and I did so by investing my own resources and physical strength.
Reaching the Breaking Point
During one of these trips, I reached a point of total exhaustion and despair. After crossing a river and walking for miles, I told the young man guiding me that I was done; I was ready to return to the city and die there if necessary. I was tired of searching for a grandmother’s name and an identity that seemed to remain hidden, and I decided to stop at a local bar to drink and wait for my family to find me.
The Spiritual Prodding
While I was sitting at that bar, a spiritual voice or "intuition" (Roho) challenged me. It reminded me that I had spent years looking for my identification and my place in the lineage. Even as I sat there drinking, the voice told me to ask the young guide exactly where we were going. I had made a vow that if I found my way, I would help others avoid the same suffering, which is why I am teaching you today.
Finding the Elders
The young guide led me to a house where I met two very old women, likely in their 90s, and an even older man who was perhaps 150 years old. After I explained my lineage and who my parents were, they began to remember. They spoke of my grandmother from the time they were young girls, and they called for the elder "Babu" to perform a ritual to confirm my place in the family.
The Ritual of Recognition
The elder performed a ritual (mambo ya tambiko/ritcho) using masale leaves, mbege, and milk. After looking at me and completing the traditional rites, he confirmed that I am a true child of that homestead. He then revealed my true name: Nkasafari. This was the moment I moved past the "colonial" and "slave" names that many people still carry today.
A Call to Authentic Identity
I urge you to stop clinging to names like Juma, Agnes, or "Tom Boy" which carry the weight of those who died in foreign lands or under colonial influence. I teach with this "usongonization" (intensity) to wake you up. I am busy with my work and won't always be available to answer every question, so take these recordings seriously and preserve them for your future use.
I share the intense physical and spiritual struggle I underwent in 2020 to discover my true identity, which culminated in a journey to Mount Kilimanjaro to consult with elders
My Relentless Pursuit of Truth
I teach with a sense of urgency and "anger" because I paid a high price to understand who I am, and I don’t want my students to waste time as I did. In 2020, I traveled to Kilimanjaro 14 times—twice every single month to climb the mountain and speak with the elders of old. My goal was to find my identity, and I did so by investing my own resources and physical strength.
Reaching the Breaking Point
During one of these trips, I reached a point of total exhaustion and despair. After crossing a river and walking for miles, I told the young man guiding me that I was done; I was ready to return to the city and die there if necessary. I was tired of searching for a grandmother’s name and an identity that seemed to remain hidden, and I decided to stop at a local bar to drink and wait for my family to find me.
The Spiritual Prodding
While I was sitting at that bar, a spiritual voice or "intuition" (Roho) challenged me. It reminded me that I had spent years looking for my identification and my place in the lineage. Even as I sat there drinking, the voice told me to ask the young guide exactly where we were going. I had made a vow that if I found my way, I would help others avoid the same suffering, which is why I am teaching you today.
Finding the Elders
The young guide led me to a house where I met two very old women, likely in their 90s, and an even older man who was perhaps 150 years old. After I explained my lineage and who my parents were, they began to remember. They spoke of my grandmother from the time they were young girls, and they called for the elder "Babu" to perform a ritual to confirm my place in the family.
The Ritual of Recognition
The elder performed a ritual (mambo ya tambiko/ritcho) using masale leaves, mbege, and milk. After looking at me and completing the traditional rites, he confirmed that I am a true child of that homestead. He then revealed my true name: Nkasafari. This was the moment I moved past the "colonial" and "slave" names that many people still carry today.
A Call to Authentic Identity
I urge you to stop clinging to names like Juma, Agnes, or "Tom Boy" which carry the weight of those who died in foreign lands or under colonial influence. I teach with this "usongonization" (intensity) to wake you up. I am busy with my work and won't always be available to answer every question, so take these recordings seriously and preserve them for your future use.
I share the intense physical and spiritual struggle I underwent in 2020 to discover my true identity, which culminated in a journey to Mount Kilimanjaro to consult with elders
My Relentless Pursuit of Truth
I teach with a sense of urgency and "anger" because I paid a high price to understand who I am, and I don’t want my students to waste time as I did. In 2020, I traveled to Kilimanjaro 14 times—twice every single month to climb the mountain and speak with the elders of old. My goal was to find my identity, and I did so by investing my own resources and physical strength.
Reaching the Breaking Point
During one of these trips, I reached a point of total exhaustion and despair. After crossing a river and walking for miles, I told the young man guiding me that I was done; I was ready to return to the city and die there if necessary. I was tired of searching for a grandmother’s name and an identity that seemed to remain hidden, and I decided to stop at a local bar to drink and wait for my family to find me.
The Spiritual Prodding
While I was sitting at that bar, a spiritual voice or "intuition" (Roho) challenged me. It reminded me that I had spent years looking for my identification and my place in the lineage. Even as I sat there drinking, the voice told me to ask the young guide exactly where we were going. I had made a vow that if I found my way, I would help others avoid the same suffering, which is why I am teaching you today.
Finding the Elders
The young guide led me to a house where I met two very old women, likely in their 90s, and an even older man who was perhaps 150 years old. After I explained my lineage and who my parents were, they began to remember. They spoke of my grandmother from the time they were young girls, and they called for the elder "Babu" to perform a ritual to confirm my place in the family.
The Ritual of Recognition
The elder performed a ritual (mambo ya tambiko/ritcho) using masale leaves, mbege, and milk. After looking at me and completing the traditional rites, he confirmed that I am a true child of that homestead. He then revealed my true name: Nkasafari. This was the moment I moved past the "colonial" and "slave" names that many people still carry today.
A Call to Authentic Identity
I urge you to stop clinging to names like Juma, Agnes, or "Tom Boy" which carry the weight of those who died in foreign lands or under colonial influence. I teach with this "usongonization" (intensity) to wake you up. I am busy with my work and won't always be available to answer every question, so take these recordings seriously and preserve them for your future use.
